Out Of My Mind (remixed​/​remastered)

by Victor Montequin

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released June 18, 2013

Victor Montequin - Vocals, Piano, Organ, Keyboards
Larry Vita - Electric and Acoustic Guitars, Bass, Mandolin
Lou Murray - Classical Guitar, Saxophone, Trumpet
Don Richmond - Fiddle, Banjo
John Amein - Drums, Percussion



all rights reserved


Victor Montequin Lake Mary, Florida

I've been playing music for 35 years and writing poetry for about the same amount of time. As a songwriter I've only recently felt I was good enough to publish. Hope you like it!

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Track Name: The Fall
When the summer’s out
I see the fall
I see the fall
All the colors on the way

When you’re taking steps
I see the fall
I see you fall
Checking quick that you’re ok

Just get up and tie your shoe
‘cause fallin’s something we all do
And we’re never satisfied
Until we feel the steps we’re taking
Is the happiness we’re making

When I’m singing songs
I hear you call
I hear you call
Waking me from in my mind

When I think of you
Starting to crawl
Dragging your doll
Helps me settle my next rhyme

Just go and lean your head on me
‘cause here is where I’ll always be
And I won’t be satisfied
Until I see all you are showing
And the way that you are growing


When I see how you are
Getting tall
Bouncing your ball
It’s amazing you are mine

When I think before
I can’t recall
Oh not at all
My world right now is doing fine

Just go now and rest your head
‘cause now it’s time to go to bed
But you’re never satisfied
Because the world never stops calling
And I know that it’s appalling
But right now to sleep you’re falling
Track Name: Through It All
Planets swirl in pink and blue
Spinning thoughts, I feel for you
Without a compass pointing true
You navigate to where knows who

Don't remember, can't recall
Why things that rise must always fall
Life changes like a rubber ball
And through it all, just through it all

You whisper nothing in my ear
When I call out you disappear
But without hands you cannot steer
They're buried deep for fear of fear

Instant answers that you crave
But the day does not behave
It seems decision is your slave
I just say, be brave, be brave

Expectations rule your mind
But why does life seem so unkind?
You may never get the chance to do
The thing that you always wanted to
But looking back, those things you see are you

Spheres of light turn in white and red
But through it all we never fled
I can’t remember what you said
But then you hush my voice instead

So soon, and yet so long ago
So up and down, and to and fro
The grief we bear, for what we know
Without the hurt………….. we never grow
Track Name: Pop Song
I change channel on the radio
But it always sounds the same
Why is it always what I just don’t know
The lights, the glory, and the fame

You know I listen to just what they say
Beneath the rhythm, behind the jam
Hour by hour, and day by day
But what they’re singing isn’t who I am

Do you believe the things you’ve heard all along?
Well I don’t think that it’s even that strong
In fact, there’s so much of it that is wrong
Because my life isn’t really a pop song

I know the world, I know what’s real
Not what’s online or on TV
So when I turn up the volume wheel
Well all that attitude, is just is not me


Oh I don’t really understand it
But to some people, oh I really must hand it
They think it’s real, I know it’s fake
It makes me wonder if they’re even awake

Track Name: I Can't Cry Anymore
I see your eyes are drifting
Maybe your mood needs lifting
To free those weights upon your soul
I see your body shaking
Is it your heart that’s breaking
Could it be you’re losing control

But I don’t think it’s a feeling no one’s ever had before
And we’re searching for the healing as we try a little more

I feel your eyes upon me
I know you’re counting on me
To be that hero in your mind
And while those eyes are blinking
I’m out here sitting, thinking
How I can make it all alright

But I don’t think it’s a feeling no one’s ever had before
And I’m searching for the healing as I try a little more

But I can’t cry anymore
Because it won’t help you inside
No I can’t cry anymore
Just put the sadness down, pick up anew
I’m here for you


I feel your hand in my hand
Slips through like grains of warm sand
But I won’t let it get me down
‘cause while the image still shines
Heroes they do fall sometimes
But while I’m there I’ll get myself…off the ground
Track Name: I Have A Right
I have a right
To my own mind
I have a right
To my own life
I have a right
To my own sight
I have a right
To be wrong, and to be right

I have a right
To my own song
I have a right
To belong
I have a right
To be weak or strong
I have a right
To be right, and to be wrong

It is my right
To not be left
Without the love of those friends for which I am blessed
Sometimes I scream
Sometimes I fight
Sometimes I cry to let you know I have the right

I live my life
For every day
I say hello
To friends along way
And on my path
As I enlight
I realize things are more wrong
Than they are right

(Chorus 2)
It is your right
To not be left
Without the love of those friends for which you are blessed
Sometimes you scream
Sometimes you fight
Sometimes you cry to let us know you have the right


Sometimes the world
It makes me doubt
What the darkness we can’t see
Is all about
But then my friends
Offer me light
Whatever’s wrong is gone
With them it all seems right

(Chorus 3)
It is our right
To not be left
Without the love of those friends for which we are blessed
Sometimes we scream
Sometimes we fight
Sometimes we cry because you know we have the right
Sometimes we cry because you know we have the right
Sometimes we cry because you know we have the right
Track Name: I'm Still Waiting For You
When I read through the pages
Of the lives from the past
Those that called out for freedom, those who died
Then I look out my window
At the dye we have cast
And the words on those pages sound like likes

I’m still waiting for you
I’m still waiting for you
With your torch high
I’m still waiting for you
I’m still waiting for you
For the time when the eagle will fly

Now I look to my neighbor
With my fist clenched so tight
Wondering what are the lies and the truth
Pick a side, it’s expected
We don’t live without fight
As we sing eye for eye, tooth for tooth


We hear words like power and pride
Are we really that different inside
We think there must be somebody else to take credit or to blame.
But you and that somebody else are probably quite the same

Well the wind tells a story
That we don’t want to hear
While our ears are kept covered underground
With our senses bombarded
By the anger and fear
Beauty masked by a deafening sound

Track Name: Perfect
I say a word I think is good
Find myself misunderstood
That’s Perfect
That’s just Perfect

Open up my window pane
Smell the air, it starts to rain
That’s Perfect
Oh, just Perfect

Well I don’t want to step outside
I swear one time I really tried
Sometimes I question what I feel
Because my life is not ideal

Thinking I will take a walk
Got two shoes, but just one sock
That’s Perfect
That’s just Perfect

Contemplate my thoughts within
But can’t remember where I’ve been
That’s Perfect
Hmm, that’s perfect

Well I don’t care about the sun
(because) It doesn’t shine on everyone
Sometimes I wonder if there’s time
To make my life sublime

It may not be complete but
It’s sitting at your feet, just
Made up of all you feel and do
But while you cry out loud
The sound you make drowns in the crowd of
All the voices within you


I’m giving you a tiny shard
But it’s enough. It’s not so hard
To know a life and what it’s worth
For just a single birth

Born the day that time just slows
Count her fingers, count her toes
She’s Perfect
She’s just Perfect

Two make one, but now and then
There will come that rain again (pause)
No, life’s not Perfect
But it is worth it
Track Name: Fear and Hope
She sat on the edge of the hatch on the foredeck
Slightly invisible to crowds on the ship
She held her guitar firmly on her lap
The only companion she brought on the trip

She couldn’t help wonder what stood before her
She questioned decisions, she questioned her heart
Then the stranger approached and helped her with her luggage
She saw him and thought, “till death do us part”

Sometimes fear and hope go hand in hand
When you think of a future you don’t understand
You jump for the brass ring, but it’s hard when you land
Sometimes fear and hope go hand in hand

So many questions she kept to herself
She silenced a sniff held back from a cry
Voices of gossip blew kitchen curtains
As blurrings of houses and mountains flew by

The butterflies multiplied, she felt the flutter
The further she moved from the life she once knew
But maybe, just maybe, the grass would be greener
She prayed each night for it to be true


A brand new life stood at her door
With temptation like never before
But a new life’s not always the easiest thing
When it’s held hard and bound by a ring

Track Name: Self Control
I need a change
but it takes long
learning myself
the right from wrong

I'm looking for
some self respect
control these feelings
that I project

I need some self-control
and find some patience deep within my soul
I need some self-control
before I fall much deeper in that hole

Sometimes I feel
I must appraise
When I see you
You grab my gaze

But it's your life
Why should I care
When mine's not going


Give me some peace, to help me to wait
And get me out of this irrational state
Impatience keeps me from reaching my goal
But when I look into your eyes I lose my self control
Track Name: Namaste
Sand trickles down
As I mark the paths that I have crossed
But I don't stand as tall
And I don't walk as fast

Finding old footsteps
Maybe I'll sit a while and smell the air
I've been this way before
And I doubt this is the last

(chorus 1)
Spending all our time
Wondering what to believe
We live our lives trying to find our way
Through the tangled web we weave

Breaking the fog
Sometimes the light shines through, I think I see
Something worth attention
Something I can hold

Is it just me
Who can appreciate the wonderful
Or do I see the world
The only way I know

(chorus 2)
Things we hope and crave
Occupy our dreams
But reality
May not be what it seems

When the sand falls down
Do we lose our ground
Or do the winds of time blow the way
On the path we climb
Will we waste our time
Wandering astray?
Track Name: Chasing Rainbows
You wanna birthday party every day
But after the fun, would you just pass away?
Why can’t every day be like the first day that we met?
Does anyone care, do we really dare?

We’re preoccupied, with all and now
But without our toys, is our home is just a house?
But what’s to come of us if we don’t care what comes?
When is it enough, because it’s all just stuff?

I wanna chase rainbows
And color on my clothes
I wanna wipe my mouth on my shirt
And eat dinner after dessert
I wanna chase rainbows
And go where no one goes
I wanna rip holes in my blue jeans
And live outside of in betweens

The system tells us, 1 and 1 is 2
But we both made 1, so what’s really true?
We strive to be better every hour of every day
But, if everyone’s best, who are the rest?


Turn off and tune out
Feel the sun and breathe the air
Don’t you realize, while pictures flip before your eyes
There’s a real world out there
Track Name: Whisper
You left us in a whisper
You were gone before your life was done
I know I never met you, but I heard it like the fire from a gun

Your breath it was a whisper
In a tale of reality
I only heard a flutter, but it built up to a scream from within me

Oh whisper
Don't let us all forget and move along
'cause the world, it has a habit of flowing on and on

Your story was a whisper
Until you ceased to be that very day
Then the people came with voices oh so loud that I had to turn away

Oh whisper
Don't let this turn to anger and to fear
So much is being said, but I'm sure those aren't the words you want to hear

You left us with a whisper
I hope we listened closely on that day
'cause the stories twist within the wind and without love they simply fly away
Track Name: God and Country
I pledge allegiance to the flag
Of a country I hold dear
One nation, under God
But who is this God I hear

I’ve heard that this Creator
Endowed me with my rights
But where does this Creator go
On desperate days and nights?

It’s God and Country, ‘tis of thee
It’s God and Country on TV
You say you stand for freedom, and that’s near and dear to me
But this God does not….ensure my liberty

I’ve seen the Ten Commandments
Etched on buildings of the State
I’ve hoped my own beliefs would join them
But was told I’d have to wait

I’ve heard Freedom of Religion
Shouted in the streets
But if mine’s not your religion
Where will our eyes meet?


If you’re not with us you’re against us
Love who we are or leave
But why must you place your values
On the backs of those who don’t believe?

I never said that I’d suppress you
I didn’t say you were a fraud
But must we all be forced to
Pray to the same God?

Track Name: I Think I Saw You
I think I saw you yesterday
Sitting on the phone
I thought that I could to talk to you
But I was all alone
Do I join your conversation
I don’t know
Can I share in your elation?
Do I need an invitation?
Was it truth or imitation
Long ago?

I think I heard you yesterday
Talking in your sleep
I tried my best to wake you up
But you were far too deep
But I won’t end my persistence
So you know.
How are you so close, yet distant?
Why must you be so resistant?
Was it something that I missed
That you let show?

But you look so near
Yet you feel so far…away
I may lose some tears…some sleep, some of my time
But I’ll never lose my heart

I think I saw you yesterday
Drowning in your tears
I reached my hand to touch your face
And take away the fears
But you turned and walked away
Oh can’t you see
If you do turn to look my way
You may find the world’s not all grey
I can help carry the weight
If you let me


If you take the time to come out of that shell
You may find to your surprise I understand very well
If you just remove the mask that keeps the rest of the world blind
You will see there’s room for healing
And for letting out your feelings
Even though you feel you’re reeling
In your mind

No I’ll never lose my heart
Track Name: What Did I Say?
What did I say?
Did it hurt what I mentioned
What did I say?
Why’d you take it so hard?

What did I say?
Didn’t know my intention
What did I say?
Let me know who you are

Is where I hope to be
Would you be true to me?
Please open up your heart
If you keep on playing games
We’ll fall apart

What did you say?
‘cause I just couldn’t hear you
What did you say?
Did you ask for a hand?

What did you say?
‘cause I don’t want to hurt you
What did you say?
‘cause I just don’t understand?


What’s that you say?
Do you need to shout
Is the world weighing on you
But the words just won’t come out
That’s not the way
Are you filled with doubt
‘cause I’m right here, an open ear
So go on and let it out
…That’s what I say


That’s what I say...It’s not souffle…just say, don’t spray…vitamin k…papier-mache…Chesapeake bay...